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Conquering Anxiety: A Collection 08/19

*sigh*

It’s been a while guys. These past few months of finding myself, being unemployed, and pursuing a full-time career writing have been...full! I went to a tradeshow, spent some time out of town, and learned a lot. The oddest thing about it all is that things have positively progressed at a pretty rapid state. I would love to put all the recognition on Mary Jane, elevating my state of being. I have to give some props to a different culprit though.

Elevated State of Mind



As I mentioned, I’ve been on a strange and painstaking adventure to learn more about myself. As a writer -and overall nerd who loves to hide inside- getting the proper physical, as well as mental stimulation, can get hard. Exploring my career has forced me to get in the habit of making that stimulation a priority. I’ve been actively eating better with healthier portions. I’ve been *trying* to exercise more. The biggest change, however, is going to events in my industry.

With social media being such a vast network of ways to connect, we all forget one of the most basic ways. In my attempt to help my career, I’ve decided to put myself out there more. I challenge myself every week to email and talk to more people. More than anything, it’s a challenge to be the best version of myself at all times. Like the Foo Fighters song, ya know?

It Just Happened…


That’s not just a fancy header. I’m serious! The moment I started being more open and a tiny weeny bit less introverted, a lot of things started happening for me. Now, I know what all my anxiety-ridden friends are thinking…It’s not that easy!

Believe me, it isn’t! Numerous baby steps led me to where I am now. As I struggle with depression and a lot of anxiety still, one of my biggest battles is finding a reason to get up in the morning. It makes me sound ridiculous and ungrateful, but it’s just the reality of depression sometimes. Despite all the wonderful things going on in your life, you can only think of the bad. It consumes you so much, you can’t find a valid reason to even get up and move. I DID NOT one day get up and started emailing people living this self-care journey.

So WTF did I do?



I had to start small, little task here and there to get me out of bed. I would set my coffee maker to go off at my usual working-day hours. I thought the smell of coffee would entice me to get up; and, it did! Even though I wasn't doing much, I would get up and clean. Other times, I’d just watch Netflix or play video games. As long as I wasn’t lying in bed, I was happy. It was great...until I ran outta coffee. It’s that ‘Glamorous Life of the Late Twenties’ struggle.

After that, I slumped for a little.

I had told myself that it could only be for those days though. I got more coffee and I was back at it. My first slump was making me fall back again and again. I would do well for a few days then lay in bed until evening on other days. I needed an extra push.

The Apps.


I realized that I personally need some outside force to make me get up. Whether it be a job, a chore, mimosas, I needed a cause. I started a hunt for some sort of chart or journal for keeping track of my progress. The control freak in me loves lists so I thought this would be great. After failing to find an empty journal in a house holding a writer and doodler, I settled for an app. After all, these phones are worth almost $1000, there has to be an app for something like that.

There are actually a lot.

I was looking for something to help me stay focused throughout the day and effectively wake me up. After a few weeks of searching and some odd experiences, I found a winner. At the risk of sounding like an ad, I’d like to introduce you to Fabulous: Self Care!

I know it sounds a little girly but, hear me out, guys.


Fabulous is a science-based app incubated in Duke’s Behavioral Economics Lab.


The app helps users build healthy routines ranging from eating proper meals to regular mediation and workouts. It can even remind you to drink water! They believe forming small habits and slowing adding more onto them is the most effective way to develop healthy habits. In my case, it was exactly what I was looking for.

There are still some difficult days but, I'm improving!

It’s Cuz I’m Me


So, after these months of forming healthy habits -going back and forth sometimes-, I’ve gained a lot of only in my personal life, but in my career as well. The daily affirmations and wake-and-bake are a great combination for success. As a result, I’ve accomplished more and made more of an effort to further my career. I think they give me a new sense of confidence. Or maybe it’s an illusion?

Who knows

Whatever the reason, things have been good.

Siren’s Patreon campaign will be starting next month, I’m establishing myself as known cannabis enthusiasts in DTLV, and I’m that much closer to successfully writing in my underwear for a living.


The constant reading as I lied in bed seemed dumb at first but, I don’t regret it. I appreciate this new interest in self-discovery as I’ve learned a lot of ways I blame the world for my shortcomings. Over that time, I realized that there was no one at fault but me. For the most part, at least.

So, if you’re feeling in a rut or just watching too much Netflix on the weekends, try this out. It’s dope. I made Bong-breaks for myself in between the day! More than anything, remember to try something. It’s difficult, but anything helps. Even if you just change shirts or open a window in another room.

A win is a win, but you have to at least try.

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